MY FATHER, MY HERO

My father was my hero, my role model and my best friend. He was my strength, my encourager and my defender. Whenever Father’s Day celebration comes, I would think of him and shed tears for those unforgettable moments we shared while he was still with me.

It’s almost two decades now since he passed away. He died in a much unexpected time. I saw him sang with his guitar early in the morning, tied his shoe lace and started off for work but two hours later he died of a single bullet. It was the most heartbreaking moment I ever had in my entire life that even up to now, I’m still crying whenever I remember.

My body was numb for the longest time; I shouted the loudest scream ever. How can a father who was so caring and loving for his children died of a very tragic death? He was shot twice and the bullet that passed through his heart took his life. The more painful reality is, until this time his death still remains a mystery and considered as one of the most unsolved cases.

As his first born, I was always his cute little girl. We also had a lot of things in common, not to mention that I do look like him. He was left-handed and so I am, he was a musician, a guitar player and so I am. He was an artist and so I am. Most of who I am came from him and that’s pretty amazing.

Our father and daughter relationship was full of joy and adventure. I would go wherever he goes, even to his workplace. I was frightened that I might not see him for a single day. However, once in awhile I would snap and get a whip from him, but after that I would still get a gentle hug.

I grew up with him for fourteen years and those years were the most memorable ones. He was there when I first learned how to draw the human figure with my pencil, he was there when I first wrote my longest poem, and he was there when I first learned to sing the song he taught me through his guitar. He had witnessed most of my first time experiences and he was very proud of me.

Before he closed his eyes, how I wish I was able to kiss him a thousand times and give him the warmest embrace in the world… How I wish I had told him everything that I ever wanted to tell him while he can still hear it. But those are wishes that will never happen, so I just contend myself by reminiscing the past.

Today as we celebrate the Father’s Day in honor of all the fathers in the world, one thing I can be sure of, my father’s memories will linger on as long as I live. Though his life came to  an end abruptly, the way he lived his life will always be an inspiration to many, like a hero who will never be forgotten.

DIGGING UP THE TALENT

Two months after learning how to play the guitar, I wrote my first original song. It was a heart-moving Tagalog love song dedicated to God. The lyrics were overflowing with thankfulness about my new-found faith which I never thought I would ever find… I was seventeen then. It was really fun and exciting and I realized that God has given me the gift of writing when I started playing the chords in my second-hand old acoustic guitar. After that, I had written so many songs I could hardly count of. I would wake up in the middle of the night just to record the melody in my head through a small, rusty cassette player.

Many years passed by, I became pre-occupied and out of focus about the many things happening around me. I wasn’t aware that I 've already buried my talent underneath the ground. However, the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25:14-30 was an eye-opener. I was greatly touched when I went up to prayer mountain one time on a cold January day. I knelt down before God to help me dig up the talent He has entrusted to me way back then. I really missed those times when I would stay up late in the evening strumming my guitar and writing songs in my notes. I asked Him to give me the melody and lyrics once again.

After returning home, I picked up my guitar and went back to writing. And to my surprise, I was able to write songs and capture the melody just like before! One thing I was sure of during that moment, I’ve already dug up the talent that was buried for so many years. God indeed knew every person’s desire and prayer and even the potential to act in accordance with His will. He has bestowed upon every one of us the kind of gift that nobody could ever take away. It’s always in our possession, in our minds and in our hearts. It’s just a matter of how and when are we going to use it for His own glory.

Just to share it, here are some of the songs that I have written:

APPLE OF YOUR EYES

I

Sometimes I can’t understand

Why I’m here and who I am

But one thing I’m sure You know

II

You were there when no one hears

Listening to my every prayer

You never leave me alone

Chorus:

You know me

My heart You clearly see

My Savior, My God, my King

You love me

Each and everyday

‘Cause I’m the apple of Your eyes

III

Now I give my life to You

Entrusting everything I do

Mold me the way You want me to

(Repeat Chorus and verse 1)

YOU’RE WORTHY

I worship You

Lord, You deserve the highest praise

I honor You

My soul exalt Your Name

Refrain:

No one can ever compare to You

No one can ever love me like You do

Chorus:

Allelujah, Allekujah

Allelujah, Allekujah

I sing of Your great love forever and ever

I bow down on my knees

You’re worthy of our praise

MY LOVING GOD

I

You heard my prayer

And listened to my cry for mercy

In your faithfulness and righteousness

You came to my relief

Chorus:

I worship You

I worship You

You deserve the highest praise

I worship You

II

You’re my loving God

My fortress, my stronghold

My deliverer and my shield

In whom I take refuge

(Repeat Chorus)

TARA NA

I

Isip mo’y gulong-gulo

Sa bigat ng problema mo

Para bang susuko na

Nawawalan ng pag-asa

II

Wag ka’ng mag-alala

Di ka naman nag-iisa

Bilang isang kaibigan

Ika’y aking dadamayan

Pre-Chorus:

Imulat lang ang iyong mata

At kumilos na

Chorus:

Tara na, halika

Sama na, sa ‘king mundo

At doon sabay nating

Haharapin ang bukas

Tara na, halika

Sama na, sa ‘king mundo

At doon buhay mo’y

Mapupuno ng saya

III

Wag mo na’ng sayangin pa

Ang oras sa iyong pagluha

Lungkot mo’ng nadarama

Ay mapapawi na

Buhay minsan ay ganyan

Kailangan mo lang lumaban

At kahit na nahihirapan

Pagsubok ay malalampasan

(Repeat Pre-Chorus & Chorus)

Tara na, halika

Sama na, halika

Tara na

MY BEST MOM

Every year I would greet mothers in our church or in my neighborhood to commend of their undying love and sacrifice for their children. I’m happy for them, but I would be happier if I could greet my own mom. Sadly, she’s no longer around here with me. She died at the age of 42 when I was just 15. On this very special day dedicated for her, I recollected myself and tried to think about the good things she had ever done for me as a child.

My mom was a lovely woman. I’ve seen her old pictures when she was still in her younger years and I could tell she stood above the rest. She was tall, fair-skinned, long-haired lady with a heart-shaped face and had a set of lovely eyes. And I believe, her mesmerizing beauty was the reason why she captured my father’s heart.

As far as my memory could recall, she used to tag me along to the parlor. If she wanted a short curly hair, so did I. Though I really hate the smell of the chemical being used for curling, I couldn’t complain much. I was just a kid and she was my mom so I would just obey what she thought was best for me. After the beauty makeover and we were out in the street, people would just stare at us and nod, mother and daughter have the same hairstyle! It was really funny.

One thing I also admire with my mom was her diligence in teaching our lessons in school. She would set a time for me and my siblings to study our homework and do our project. It was her dream actually to become a school teacher so she just practiced her desire for us to learn. As a result, I developed the habit of learning and I owed it to her.

Another amazing thing she did for me was when she taught me a classic Tagalog song entitled ‘Ako ay Pilipino’. I really couldn’t forget that moment. I was about to audition for a singing contest in grade school and she managed to teach me the melody the whole day. I never knew, she could actually sing! Then she was more happy and excited than I was when she learned that I passed the audition.

Certainly, what I like best was her talent in cooking. She was such a good cook that every member of my family would jump on the table as soon as she finished cooking. Oh, how I really missed those times! Wish she was able to share with me even one of her secret recipes but I wasn’t a kitchen person then, I just loved to eat and savor her delicious dishes.

As my memory of her flashed back, I began to appreciate her all the more. Celebrating the Mother's Day in her presence could be more meaningful to me but her untimely death separated us. For sure, I still have a lot of things to write about her but it will be another chapter of the story… I know she wasn’t a perfect mom, she had weaknesses and blunders like any human being. We even had our own share of disagreement and mother-daughter conflict but when I look at her positive side, well I could say she was the BEST MOM in the world!

WHITE SHADOW

At the age of four, I first learned the art of drawing instead of writing my own name. And one of my favorite images was a human figure with two big wings spreading wide on his back. I saw it on TV, in books, at the church and even in my dreams. As a kid, the image was quite vague but unconsciously I did put it on paper. My father saw it one time and told me the image was that of an angel. “Hmm, what is an angel like?” I asked him. He had so many descriptions but my young mind couldn’t decipher much… I was thinking, could it be like the grown-up angel holding a big bowl of holy water, or the baby angel at the pillars and walls of the church?

The issue about angels was a mystery to me until I grew up. Nonetheless, I was so fascinated with it that I practiced my skill in drawing different angles of the face, tunic and wings of the mystifying figure. Little did I know that I would be so attached in finding out the truth behind my favorite “subject.”

The first answer came when my father was assigned by his head office to oversee the construction of a local Catholic church. For a year, my family lived at the convent together with the parish priests. Every night we would help in fixing the things inside the church especially the huge stone image of different saints. One night, I saw a white winged stone figure piercing a dark grotesque figure. It looked as if they were fighting against each other so I ran to my mother and asked. I found out that it was the warrior angel named 'Michael' fighting with a demon.

I realized if there are angels, there are also demons and they are at war somewhere. And what are they fighting for? I knew it was a battle between good and evil but I couldn’t understand the “price” of the winner and the consequence of the loser. Things were getting complicated so I decided to rest for awhile in my “investigation.”

Years passed by, so many things already happened but one day I found a book that stole my attention and rekindled my childhood interest about angels. It was a novel written by Frank Peretti entitled “Piercing the Darkness”. The story revolves around the warrior angels fighting against the territorial demons. The setting was like an action-packed movie that held my breath every time I turn the page. This book actually opened my eyes that there is a “real” battle in this world. It’s not physical but spiritual; it’s not against my body but against my soul.

This comprehension made me to study more about the Bible and what does it says about angels. I found some scriptures that tell they are real and functioning; they are not a myth but already existed a long time ago. And yes they are at war… I also found out that the “price” they are fighting for is my very own soul. When the angel is winning, it means I’m in God’s side but when the demon is winning, it means I’m one of Satan’s accomplish. Weird but it’s true.

So why am I writing this? Honestly I want to share regarding my very first encounter with this angel I am talking about. You may believe it or not but I am writing based on my personal experience.

I was then lying at my hospital bed at around 2 am. The day earlier was an event I will never forget in my entire life. Shortly before the singles’ retreat in Subic was over, I met a major accident while riding on a bicycle. My right arm was fractured which caused the bones to be broken into pieces. I was howling in pain that very moment and couldn’t sleep as I cried a bucket. Just to overcome my state of denial, I prayed for God’s comfort, strength and courage in between sobs.

Suddenly a white shadow appeared in front of me, hovering at the edge of the bed just behind my feet. I wrinkled my eyes two to three times as I thought it was just an illusion caused by my tears. But a silhouette figure in a white robe became more evident in seconds! My heart almost stopped that I pulled over the blanket to cover my face. I looked once again in fright but it seemed moving like smoke. I closed my eyes hoping it was gone when I opened it. Could it be real, could it be angels? Am I in the state of hallucination? I counted 1, 2, 3 then I opened my eyes … However they were still there and I realized it wasn’t just one smoky figure but three! I was startled for an instant then I felt a warm sensation coming over my body. I started to cry again but that moment was so sweet and precious. I really felt comforted, relieved and encouraged. When I finished weeping after five minutes or so, I looked up and they were gone.

Despite of the eight inches surgical scar in my right elbow, a decrease in my arm’s range of motion and two platinum screws attached to my bones, I’m still thankful that God allowed me to experience not just His presence but also the presence of His angels. Now I know, my investigation has proven something more than I expected, I’ve experienced it myself.

MY BIRTHDAY WITH NATURE

For a change I decided to spend my birthday this year in Sierra Madre Resort in Tanay, Rizal. These past few months I’ve been longing to spend time with God in a secluded place and be one with nature. So I thought my birthday would be a perfect time to make it happen.

Sierra Madre Resort is actually a 15 hectare property surrounded by mountains. There are suites, camping site, spring watered swimming pool, hanging bridge, falls, lagoon and golf course. The camp site however is still a few meters away from the entrance and located at the lower part of the mountain.

Eds, Weng and I brought a sleeping bag, camping tent and blanket to use for our overnight stay at the camping site. I was quite excited since it was my first time to sleep in a tent. But the two-hour travel from Cubao seemed so stressful that we almost lost our energy when we arrived at the resort at 3 pm. Much worse, the rain poured out heavily so we ended up in the chapel near the swimming pool. Eds and I wondered how we were going to pitch our tent in a drench area. Before disappointment sets in, we posed and prayed for awhile. Finally after 30 minutes the rain stopped and the sunlight came out.

We started looking for a good site to pitch our tent and we found a spot at the poolside. With the help of the staff, we quickly put up our tent and excitedly rested inside. What a nice experience! Then we ate the food we bought at the Farmers Market earlier, rice in a box, fish cracker and bread. It was a sort of picnic for the three of us.

The next thing we did was to take pictures of the place and ourselves. But sad to say, as a girl who grew up in a suburban area, the place is not that appealing to me. What I only appreciate is the nature and the experience of sleeping in a tent.Before darkness covered the surrounding, the guide took us to Sto. Niño Falls which is a few minutes walk from the site. We went down and passed through a small lagoon and a hanging bridge. The steps were slippery due to rainfall earlier so we were extra careful as we took the path.

As soon as we came back, we took a shower and settled in a round table to observe the place. Since it was my birthday, I expected a lot of text messages. But to my dismay, when I checked out my mobile phone, there was no signal. So that's what exactly means to be in a secluded place, huh!

The night was a night of sharing with my best friend Eds. After reading the Bible, we shared about what God has done in our lives, our hopes, our future plans and our dreams. I really appreciate this friend of mine, she even took time just to be with me on my birthday. We talked until midnight inside our tent then sleep took over us.

In the morning, I woke up at the sound of the rainfall above our tent, it was raining! We had no choice but to fold our tent under the rain. Then we packed our bags and settled to leave. On our way going up, the rain stopped so we took the opportunity to take more pictures. I realized that Sierra Madre can be compared with Baguio, it’s also a cold place and surrounded by trees and mountains. In a few minutes, we reached the upper part and found ourselves playing at the hanging bridge. We ate our late breakfast and left the resort at 10 am. It was fun! Despite of the bad weather, I still enjoyed my birthday with God and nature.

Date: March 25-26, 2009

Place: Sierra Madre Resort

Budget: Php 800.00

A SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY!

I’m blessed, I’m touched! I’ve run out of words to describe how I felt last night… I was really surprised to see the members of my small group gather together in one special event.

How did it go? At around 6:30 pm right after the afternoon service in Victory Fairview, I was in a rush. My old friend was waiting for me at MRT Ayala station and I need to meet her there at 7:30 pm. But suddenly, I was delayed to go early. Karen called me up in my mobile phone asking me to go to Leny’s house. She was persuading me to come but didn’t give any detail so I wondered what happened… Leny also sent a text message that my presence is badly needed because she needs prayer… Stef followed me inside the center as I was talking with Karen and offered to accompany me. In short, we went together to Leny’s house and Karen opened the gate for us.

I was speechless when I saw the table filled with food, a birthday cake and a birthday banner with my name on it. Wow, these ladies really exerted their effort to prepare a small party for my birthday. It was a nice feeling and didn’t expect them to do it. Then I realized how they avoided me earlier just to surprise me. I didn’t have a hint of it but was slightly suspicious that they were up with something… Well, I never thought it was all about “me”.

Each one of them revealed their own version of the story and we laughed at how the “plan” succeeded. Earlier in the afternoon, they were anxious upon knowing that I need to leave early. So Stef asked some close friends to stop me from leaving and thought of ways to completely persuade me to stay, or else their prepared event would be a failure, hehe!

Next was a speech from everybody. Who would ever know, we were only five when we started our small group but we are now divided into three groups with over twenty members in all and still counting. Despite the absence of some members, others were there: Stef, Karen, Stella, Joy, Judy, Myra, Leny, Jackie, Jonah and Joy Anne. I was greatly encouraged with their words and the impact that I made in their lives. Seeing them grow in their faith, becoming active in the ministry and following up newcomers are enough to compensate the time and effort that I spent with them.

I was teary-eyed when I gave my message, I can’t believe that the women in front of me would be able to appreciate what I did for them. Yes, I’m not perfect, I have my own character flaws, I even have bloopers but I thank God for making me an effective leader to look after them. I never asked for honor and fame, I just obeyed and answered the call. Now I say, these women are my greatest achievement, they are my trophy and they are my greatest reward.

Date: March 29, 2009

Place: Leny’s Place

POST VALENTINE PARTY

We had a Single’s Post-Valentine Party last Feb. 15 at Albergus in Balara, Quezon City. It was a night of fun, laughter, joy, games and food. Our group arrived at around 7:15 pm and hurried up to arrange the function room.

Some of the early comers stayed at the open area to start the feast. Most of the guys were already hungry and they could no longer resist the delicious aroma of food in front of them. Different dishes were laid on a long buffet table and we were all confused which we would pick first for the main course. As for me, I took the roasted chicken in pandan wrap, pork with coconut milk, beef steak, vegetable and fish soup but disappointed when I was about to get my favorite kare-kare, the serving dish was already empty. On the other hand, I could say that the varieties of food were superb and the P322 fee was worth it. For the guys, it was a chance to eat to their heart’s delight but for us ladies, we easily filled up our stomach. I think buffet meals are just fair for men and not for women, isn’t it?

After chatting, eating and gathering together, we started the program at 8:30 pm. Stef and Stella called five guys to participate in the game called “Compatibility Test”. Huh! Sort of a dating game?! A lady searcher must choose one among the participants. James, Paulo, Jecris, Big and Glen sat in front, their numbers were 1 to 5 respectively. Then a lady came out with a blindfold. It took me awhile to recognize Jackie. The men will be asked with a question and they will answer in a piece of paper. Of course the lady will also answer the same question. Whoever gets the same answer with the searcher wins. I could hardly remember some of the questions, but one of them goes like this: “When you are in a party, which color of the dress you are most attracted with: a. red, b. black or c. white”.

After the easy and difficult level questions, only James and Big were left head to head. They were asked to define love: For James, love is sacrifice, for Big love is above all. The crowd was getting wild, and Jackie chose James’ answer over Big’s. It seemed that James had the edge but obviously some were rooting for Big, hehe! We couldn’t help but burst into laughter as the final moment unfolded, we were all excited. I myself couldn’t hold the camera tightly, I even felt the air filling up my stomach as I laughed. I saw Pastor Arnold rolling in laughter over the table and so were Indi, Hener and Lorly. I overheard Indi saying, “I think we are in a comedy bar!”

Ptr. Arnold teased, “Look at the ladies, they are afraid of the final result!” To seal our anticipation, Jackie was asked to choose which of the two guys she thinks she is more compatible with her… James is no. 1 and Big is no. 4. Everybody were about to drop their jaw with wide eyes open. I thought it was James but I heard over the microphone, “I choose No.4!” Yehey! Some of us were satisfied with the result! Ouch, sorry James, just for fun, hehe!

We had another game called lollipop relay and word game. And as a finale, Big rendered a special number with his guitar, an acoustic version of Jayson Mraz “I’m Yours.” Then Pastor Arnold was asked to do the closing remark; he thanked the organizers, Stef, Stella and Honi and everyone who attended. And at the end of his speech, he smiled, looked at James, and said “Love is sacrifice!” which turned us all into laughing. Ha ha ha! But honestly, if it weren’t for James, our night will never be that fun and enjoyable! “Yes, love is sacrifice, isn’t it? Hehe!”

Place: Albergus, Old Balara, Quezon City

Date: February 15, 2009

Budget: Php 322.00 Buffet Meal

REDISCOVERED IN PUERTO GALERA

Last June 2008, the Single Professionals of Victory Fairview had a retreat in Puerto Galera. It is located in Oriental Mindoro which is a 4 hour travel from Manila. Dubbed as “Singles’ Rediscovered,” the retreat was a whole lot of fun, games and activities.

Bus Ride

We left Fairview at 7:00 am in the morning through a 38 seater bus. Since only 30 people were able to join, we still had more space for our bags and other stuff. We arrived in Batangas Port at around 10:00 am. Well, as we expected a beeline of people welcomed us at the terminal. Nonetheless, getting our boat tickets wasn’t really a problem because our contact at the resort helped us for early booking.

Boat Ride

The motorboat that carries around 100 people was running steadily above the water surface. Then few minutes later we found ourselves pointing and clicking our digital cameras toward every island we passed by. It was fun looking at those tiny islands on both sides of the boat.

White Beach

We reached the White Beach of Puerto Galera at 11:00 am. We eagerly strode upon the off-white sand though not as powdery as that of Boracay. It’s much better however compare to other beaches I’ve already been. We stayed at White Beach Lodge, a two-storey concrete inn that we found cheaper from the rest. P2,500 per room a day is already good for 4-5 persons. It has a big balcony on the second floor and a function hall in front.

Island Games

After lunch, we went to a nearby island about 15 minute boat ride. I forgot the name of the island but the sand is also white and powdery. Good thing about it was that our group was the only one in the island. It was like an exclusive place preferably reserved for us. So the game begins! First, we were divided into three groups and were asked to make our own cheering chant and dance presentation. We were given only 15 minutes to complete it. After few discussions, we came up with our own ideas and presented. Sad to say, some of us forgot the lyrics and the dance steps (including me, hehe!) so our group didn’t win.

The next game was more physical and difficult. Imagine, getting a peso coin from a bowl of flour using our mouth? Not only that, we took some catfish and transferred it to a small pan, dove a clue over the water, guessed the name of about 10 international flags and dug a puzzle underneath the sand. After arranging the puzzle, we still need to answer the riddle that was written on it. What a straining and mind-boggling game! You guessed it right, we were the last team to finish, hehe!

Afternoon Stroll

When we finished the game, we went to another island to swim and snorkel. But as for me, I chose to stay in our boat and chat with the boat drivers. Then we went back to the White Beach at 5pm. The afternoon sunset was dramatic and full of vibrant colors. Thanks to Ptr. Arnold for handling me his DSLR camera to take pictures of the winning team as they rode the banana boat, I also had the opportunity to take shots of the beautiful seascape.

Evening Fun

We assembled at the lodge’ function hall dressed with our luau costume. To our delight, a sumptuous dinner was served: Ensaladang talong, liempo and tinola with rice and fruits. Afterward, we had our praise and worship. Ptr. Arnold gave a short message and we were greatly encouraged to rediscover ourselves. As soon as the session was finished, we went out to the beach and took our photos, played the guitar and hang out at the beach’ food stalls.

Morning Walk

I woke up at 5pm and walked at the shore with Iya, Jecris and James. Iya was wearing a black shirt and a black batik pants and we were amused of the black dog following her.

Whenever she stops, the dog stops and whenever she walks, the dog also walks. Anyway, we had our quiet time at the big rock on the right end of the beach. The pink rays of the early morning sun filled our sight as we sat on the sand. When I opened my Bible, Psalm 91:1-2 caught my attention. It spoke clearly to me that I began to cry and pray.

Upon coming back to the lodge, I took my guitar and played some worship songs with my small group members: Babes, Karen, Stella and Irene. Ahh, it was really great praising God in the morning especially on the beach.

Breakfast was served when we entered the hall: tapa, hotdog, egg and fried rice. Then again we had our praise and worship and a message from Ptr. Arnold. We had a group discussion right after and shared more about ourselves.

Goodbye Puerto Galera!

After taking our lunch: chopseuy, chicken, rice and banana, we prepared ourselves to leave. But as we waited for the motor boat, we had more time to sing at the videoke inside the hall. Of course, everybody who loves to sing had their turn!

At 1:00 pm we started to leave. We really had fun together doing our activities and all of us got the chance to rediscover ourselves, find new friends and experience God's presence.

Place: White Beach, Puerto Galera, Oriental Mindoro

Travel Date: June 13-14, 2008

Budget: Php 2,200.00